Kim K.’s racy cover: Kim Kardashian Racy Cover

Published: July 1, 2015

Kim K.’s racy cover: Kim Kardashian Racy Cover, Oh geez. Apparently Miley Cyrus is competing with Kim Kardashian to break the Internet, because the pop star has come out with her own naked Paper magazine cover. Yup, the magazine no one had heard of just a year ago has now featured not just one, but two cultural icons in their birthday suits.

OK, before we get into comparing and contrasting, let us please examine the Paper covers. Also, you have been warned that the following images are likely NSFW. I say “likely” because I don’t know what line of work you’re in. Moving on (at your own risk).

Here is Miley’s cover, which hits newsstands on June 22:

And here is the infamous ‘Break the Internet’ Kimmy K cover from late 2014:

Yup, both butt nekkid. Both are covered in goo (for lack of a better term). Both are crying for attention, amirite? What the heck is going on here? We can only assume that Miley is competing with Kim for the Break the Internet trophy, in a sad game which one of them may win, but sadly both ultimately lose.

On Nudity
I have to give Miley the point on the nakedness. While it’s obvious she’s sans cloths, at least she’s covered up by that pig. Although, doesn’t that pig seem to be saying, “What the hell is going on here and why is this naked chick hugging me?” Or is that just me?

The Hair
Kim gets the nod in this category. I prefer her tresses flowing and down (and dark — none of that bleached crap), but at least she has some sort of style in her cover pic. Miley looks like she coated her hair with kindergarten paste — after the weird kid threw it up.

Shellacking
Both Miley and Kim are coated with … something. This one is a tie, in my opinion, as I’m not sure which is more gross — being covered with oil or being covered by mud. I want to turn the hose on both of them, truth be told.

Props
This one I have to give to Miley, assuming that her piggy prop was well taken care of on set. Because at least she used it to cover her important bits, while Kim used her scrap of fabric to accentuate her ass.

Commentary
In the accompanying interview, Miley described how awesome her life is now. She said, “I was doing a show two nights ago, and I was wearing butterfly nipple pasties and butterfly wings. I’m standing there with my tits out, dressed like a butterfly. How the f–k is that fair? How am I so lucky?”

Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian said she felt “honored” to work with photographer Jean-Paul Goude, and that he made her feel “confident.” She also said, “As a role model I’m not saying anyone else should do that, but for me it was an art project and it taught me to do what you want to do.”

Point to Miley on that last one, for at least acknowledging that she’s lucky as hell to be where she is, while Kim still considers herself a role model. Who ever would have thought we’d ever consider Miley to be more realistic than Kim?

LOL — just kidding.

Kim Kardashian Racy Cover

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